Unbidden

Perfect gifts come in different flavors. There's the gift that's perfect because the recipient laid in the specs to remove all doubt. Herr Cranky's gift of a phone with a map program fits this category; this phone gave the Crankies the logistical umph they needed to navigate unfamiliar cities on their recent roadtrip. In addition, it sent Crankies 1 and 2 into paroxysms of joy as they discovered apps, games, and wallpaper-selection opportunities. C2 found a notes function in which she writes diary entries such as, "I went to the plum patch. We picked a lot of good plums." In her euphoria, C2 raised up an encomium of praise for technology:

I just love this phone.
WHO KNEW that a phone could give you a map? 
WHO KNEW that a phone would let you write notes? 
WHO KNEW that a phone had games on it? 
WHO KNEW that a phone could still let you talk on the phone, like la, la, la.

Steve Jobs, want some PR to provide a diversion from that iPhone 4 kerfluffle? The Crankies are available.

The other perfect gift is the one you didn't know you needed. When friend Zia pressed a thumb drive upon the not-techie Meta Cranky, it was as if the angel choirs were singing. How long had this technological miracle been available to the rest of the planet? That long, really?

Comes now Mr. High Security, who not only studies antique hardware but also can identify individuals who are least likely to accomplish simple tasks on their own. As a result, the talented Mr. High Security not only fixed the beloved, broken, ancient hardware at Cranky Farm, he also installed it. Can we mention that he lives in another state? Sure, Meta Cranky put the repaired lock back in the door, but did she notice that door frame had no hole for the deadbolt? Um. Rather no. The Crankies now enjoy fully operational 90-year-old locks and more working keys than your average janitor--the impressive, skeleton-type keys you'd use to lock Mr. Rochester's crazy wife in the attic. And MC gets to savor the perfect gift of unforeseen, unbounded generosity.

MC's chi is running particularly strong this week, because she also received a unexpected gift for someone else's birthday. Paying her respects on the natal day of friend I'm Adorable, but Don't Piss Me Off, she received a perfectly pressed set of tea towels embroidered by I'm Adorable's mother. Meta Cranky remembers Mother of Adorable's house as cool island of domesticity in a dusty, sandburr-filled sea. Small MC would tumble out of Major Cranky's Chevy pickup, in which the day's only refreshment would have been a bag of Red Man chewing tobacco. Stopping to see Mother of Adorable, with her hospitality, air conditioning, and cold water, always gave MC hope that Major Cranky was going to evoke closure and eventually head home to lunch. I'm Adorable's perfect gift reminds MC that small gestures can bring moments of glad grace yea even into a hot Chevy. Why embroider seven tea towels with days of the week and amusing animal figures? Because looking at them might make you smile when you otherwise wouldn't. Perfect.
--MC

(Photo to come)